The Animated Talk
by 3D-Slacken
Summary: In search of Icha Icha Tactics the movie, team 7 started a random conversation. "Like Patrick Star is a sailor senshi? WTF?" Oneshot.CRACK.SasuSaku.


Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi San

A/N: Yes another crack fic, but this is only a one shot. I am hoping that all who reads or even pass by this story will enjoy the effort humor that I created and tell me how they felt after reading it (smiles). Enjoy reading!

Sasuke

_Sakura_

**Naruto**

Kakashi-sensei

**_Sai_**

**What is this place again?**

It's a DVD store.

What are we doing here again?

We are on a mission to find a movie called Icha Icha Tactics.

This is isn't a mission...

No, it's a good deed Sasuke. You badly need it remember?

**Don't worry Kakashi-sensei! I'll find it for you, it's a promise!**

_Kyaaa! It's Sailor Moon! Could you please play this?_

_Gomen ne sunao ja nakute_

What is she doing?

_Yume-no na na na na_

_Shikou kairo-wa shouto-sunzen_

_Ima-sugu aitai-yo_

**She's dancing and singing! And you call me idiot?  
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_Nakitaku naru-yo-na moonlight_

_Denwa mo dekinai midnight_

_Datte na naa na doushiyou_

How cute…

_Haato-wa mangekyou_

Who is this Sailor Moon?

_Naa na naa na naa na na_

_Na naa na na Mirakuru-romansu_

Is this porn?

_Shinjite-iru no Mirakuru romansu_

_In the name of the moon I will punish you!_

No Sasuke this is an anime… drawings that are turn into a show.

I know what an anime means Kakashi, but is this anime porn?

You watch anime porn Sasuke?

...

**Sasuke-teme your such a loser!**

_Someday Kakashi-sensei I will be like Sailor Moon!_

**Sakura-chan! You can't be Sailor Moon!**

_Why not? _

**You have pink hair dattebayo!**

_So what?_

Sakura- chan, Naruto does seem to have a point.

_But I want to be Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen will be Sasuke-kun!_

**Don't worry Sakura-chan! You can be Patrick and Sasuke-teme could be Squidward.**

Ahaha!

_NOooo!_

I do like Squidward… he's smart to hate that loudmouth Spongebob.

**I am Spongebob! Everyone knows that Squidward like Spongebob he just doesn't have the balls to say it out loud! **I AM READY! I AM READY!**  
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Sakura-chan you can be Chibiusa if you like.

_But I like to be Sailor Moon!  
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**I know! You can be Orihime and Sasuke can be Ishida?**

_MOU!_

Naruto, Orihime doesn't have pink hair.

**But Sasuke-teme really sounds like Ishida!**

Yeah I am cool like him.

_Can we go back to Sailor Moon please?_

**And I can be like Ichigo and Hinata-chan can be Rukia!**

_I am going to be like Sailor Moon! That's Final!_

Why do you want to be like this Sailor Moon? Her head looks like an Odango.

_Duh Sasuke-kun! It is her cute-cute symbol!_

Cute-cute symbol?

_You know! Every character has it so that people would remember them easily!_

**Like you Kakashi-sensei, you have that freaking mask all over your face!**

It's called cute-cute symbol?

Like you who is a dead last?

**Yeah. Ye— Oi! I am not a dead last! And that's not even a symbol chicken hair!**

_Yup chicken hair is Sasuke-kun's cute-cute symbol!_

So Ishida's glasses are a cute-cute symbol?

_No Sasuke-kun, Ishida's glasses and Kakashi-sensei's mask are considered as their 'thing'._

**You know Sasuke, you might be a genius when it comes to jutsus and fighting but when it comes to anime and love your nothing! NOTHING! AHAHAHA**

Oh I get it! Like Luffy is recognized by his straw hat and it's his thing.

_Wow Kakashi-sensei you've learned so fast!_

**AHAHA! Kakashi-sensei is the genius in all of the above!**

Hn.

**I can translate your "HN" it's equal to FUCK YOU!**

Wow Naruto you speak Sasuke?

_Can you teach me?_

**AHAHA! YES! OF COURSE **

I thought we were talking about Sailor Moon?

_Yes, we still are Sasuke-kun._

**Be thankful to me that you can still relate to our topic.**

**_Who wants to be thankful with you dickless?_**

**SAI! **

Yo Sai!

_Hi Sai_

Great another weirdo…

**_What are you guys doing here?_**

**We are looking for a movie!**

Icha Icha Tactics…

**_I would like to ask permission to join in…_**

We were about to go.**_  
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Of course you can join in. Don't listen to him, he's in denial.

**And were also talking about anime dattebayo!**

_Sailor Moon._

**I am sharing my great knowledge to Sasuke-teme here! He doesn't know Sailor Moon! So don't rub it in to him. You know he's slight insane… so he might over react.**

I am standing near you.

_Like Patrick Star is a Sailor senshi? WTF?_

**_Oh! I know Sailor Moon, Tuxedo kamen is so cool._**

Is this hell already?

_Wow Sai! That's great… Do you think that I could be like Sailor Moon and Sasuke-kun could be like Tuxedo kamen?_

**_But Sailor Moon is not ugly and has a small round full chest… Tuxedo kamen is not a traitor. I believe that Tuxedo kamen is a good guy and he is the male lead character. _**

_You're. Rude. … RUDE! RUDEEE!_

**_You could be Chibiusa if you like._**

See I told you Sakura.

**_See even Kakashi-sensei knows that you're a crybaby._**

_WAHHHHHH! HUHUHUHU… Kakashi-sensei how could you!_

No Sakura… that's not what I meant. Sai. That's bad.

**_I am sorry ugly._**

**SAI! Quit it!**

**_But I am just following the quote 'A naked truth is better than a dress lie'. _**

Could you just all shut up?

**_Well then don't speak…_**

Hn.

**That translates again to fuck you! **

**_But isn't Uchiha Sasuke a man? Why would he fuck me? Is he gay?_**

Dobe and you freak emotional retard will not shut up I will do that one thousand years of pain to both of you.

**_And that too… what's with that attack? Isn't it just an excuse to finger another person's ass? Is the creator of that technique gay?_**

Excuse me but I am not gay. It has a win-win conditions.

**IT'S FUN!**

It can do an amazing damage…

**_And you call me retard, you guys are sick._**

_Shoo! Shoo! Can you please go away now Sai?_

**_But I am here to engage on a conversation, I have human rights and feelings you know._**

_WE ARE SOO OUT OF THE TOPIC! WE ARE DISCUSSING ABOUT SAILOR MOON NOT FINGERING AN ASS!_

**Sai started it!**

…

…

…

…

…

Don't you want us to be just us?

_What do you mean just us Sasuke-kun?_

Sasuke and Sakura, a love team from Naruto

**That's so boring. Sasuke-teme is romantically retarded. **

**_Oh so Sasuke-kun is also a retard._**

_Judging by the things that are happening in the manga it's impossible for both of us… and… and…_

You almost killed us. Remember?

In the future we will be together.

**Wow! You sound so sure about it… Why? Did you ask Kishimoto-ojisan already? **

**_And if I remember there are imaginary rules that the lead male character gets the lead female character and the third wheel character dies. Sad. Sorry Sasuke._**

But Naruto has already Hinata doesn't he?

**Maybe I get two girls? LUCKY!**

It is quoted in an interview of Kishimoto that it won't be a MainBoyxMainGirl ending…

**You're just sad because you will die without love!**

_I love Sasuke-kun... even though you tried to kill me numerous of times._

**AW! Sakura-chan you don't love me! HOW COULD YOU!**

_I love you Naruto, but in a brotherly way. It's weird imaging kissing you. Total awkwardness…_

**Why would it be awkward? Am I ugly?**

**_No Naruto that would be Sakura._**

_HMPH! No… As I told you your like a brother Naruto._

AN INCEST STORY! EXCELLENT CHOICE!

**What's incest?**

_GREAT! You just have to say it!_

**_How do I put it in words? Action does speak louder than words._**

_SAI! DON'T YOU DARE!_

Incest is a family love.

…

…

…

…

**So were an incest?**

_NOOOO!_

**_Dickless and brainless combined together forms Naruto._**

No, Naruto. Incest is like your family is making babies with each other... 

**Ohhh…**

You didn't get it do you?

**A little. AHAHAHA**

_Naruto. It's cool if you don't really get it._

No.

**_Not really…_**

That only proves you're a dead last, dead last.

**I AM NOT A DEAD LAST! **

Whatever.

…

…

…

…

You guys know Bible Black?

**What's that?**

**_Kakashi-sensei, we are decent people._**

_Eww. Kakashi –sensei how could you!_

…

I am just asking…

_It's disturbing._

**_We are decent people and should not talk about those things with others, it is for personal pleasure I believe._**

Someone's silent…

**Teme what's Bible Black?**

It's an anime.

**_Yeah a pleasure anime…_**

_We all know that bible black except Naruto but we never watch it!_

**_Yeah that would be disturbing especially for an Uchiha._**

Yeah it will be kind of shocking… So whose you're favorite character?

_SENSEI! STOP IT! Sasuke-kun is not that kind of guy!_

**_Uchiha is a closet pervert?_**

I am not a pervert.

So whose you're favorite character?

_KAKA—_

Rika Shiraki.

_Er…_

**_So that's why you don't know Sailor Moon, you only watch anime porn._**

Ah! Thank heavens someone can appreciate art.

_ART? ART? ART? DO YOU KNOW WHAT AN ART IS? THAT THING IS FOR PERVERTS! PERVERTS!_

I am not a pervert. I am learning how to socialize one on one.

Yes. Yes. That's learning my youthful students.

**You sound like Gai-sensei. COOL!**

**_Socializing one on one? _**

_SASUKE-KUN! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING! SAI! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S CORRUPTED! CORRUPTED I SAY! EVEN NARUTO WAS UNDER JIRAIYA AND HE ISN'T LIKE THAT! BAD! BAD!_

You know Sai to understand a person well you must have this private one on one session.

**_So it isn't for love nor pleasure?_**

_SAILOR MOON! I WILL PUNISH YOU IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!_

It is for love and pleasure but it is not limited to that… there are endless possibilities.

SASUKE! I AM SO PROUD!

**I am going to eat ramen now… I CAN'T RELATE ANYMORE!**

Because you're an idiot.

_NO! NARUTO IS NOT AN IDIOT! HE'S AN INNOCENT BOY! AND I AM SO PROUD OF HIM! I AM GOING WITH YOU NARUTO!_

**_Sasuke can you tell me more about sex?_**

_SAI!_

I AM SO PROUD! I CAN DIE HAPPILY NOW...

**Were talking about sex? I AM A MALE!**

Idiot. Not sex gender but sex intercourse, male penetrating a female—

_STOP IT! STOP IT!_

It's a natural process of life Sakura, you're a medic nin you should understand!

**OHHH! ICHA ICHA! I found it Kakashi-sensei!**

**_I therefore conclude that a man's basic instinct is indeed sex._**

_I am not hearing this…_

**But I don't think sex all the time.**

But do you have fantasies with someone?

**_That's also considered as a preliminary for sex._**

_PRELIMINARY? WHATTTT! Wait… Sex is a fight? _

You do have to fight for dominance.

My students are sharing their knowledge with one another. WHAT A GREAT TEAMWORK!

**Dominance?**

**_Isn't that courtesy? _**

(Sigh) Determination of who will be at the top and who will be at the bottom, dominance…No it is not courtesy, you have to have strength so that you could experience being at the top.

… _Silent_

**OHH! I GET IT!**

**_I think I got it too. A display of being kinky! _**

I love role playing!

**Is spanking considered kinky? **

Yes and it is the most common of all.

**_Naruto has a tiny winy brain, congratulation._**

**Thanks?**

So Sakura how about you?

_I AM NOT LIKE YOU GUYS! ALL OF YOU ARE PERVERTS! I feel sorry for Hinata-chan…_

On the contrary Hinata will be happy.

**_Sakura loves Sailor Moon…_**

It's role playing.

OH SAKURA! You are really one of my students! I am so proud!

_SASUKE-KUN! How could you! NO. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN KINKY STUFFS._

**Yeah I agree Sakura is like those Disney princesses.**

**_Sakura likes to dress up as a princess? Isn't that a kinky?_**

_NOOO! What he meant is that I am hopeless romantic!_

**_Oh! Romantic… Isn't sex a romantic thing?_**

It is.

Sex is the product of a romantic affair.

**Two romantically retards! AHAHA!**

**_Ugly I think your much suitable teacher than the Uchiha is, can you please teach me…_**

_Anytime Sai, I'm so happy that I can teach you. I will fill your mind with good information. Unlike these three here… I will cook tofu too!_

**_You're so nice. Ugly._**

_I won't be if you will not stop calling me ugly. _

**_Thank you Sakura-san._**

_See you can do it. No problem!_

**YOU DIRTY CHEATER! What a sick pick up line to get a date with Sakura-chan!**

_What? NARUTO! Don't put meaning on things! SHANNARO! How about will eat later at Ichiraku? Deal? _

**YAY! Sure Sakura-chan**

_Here's the deal. If we stop this nonsense I would cook tofu, salt-broiled saury plus I will be the one to buy this DVD and of course take out from Ichiraku ramen!_

**DEAL!**

**_I already said thank you._**

Who could say no to that? 

No…

**THE HELL TEME! DON'T RUIN THE MOMENT OF FREE FOOD! ITS FREE FOOD! **

**_Uchiha don't be selfish…_**

Sasuke you're not anymore my student if you do this.

The hell I care if I am not your student.

_Oh sorry my bad! There is a full basket of tomato in my house, you can have them all. _

(POOF)

**Bastard!**

**_He's really a traitor._**

Well what are we waiting for let's go to Sakura's already. (POOF)

**_(POOF)_**

**(POOF)**

_SHANNARO! How could you leave me! _

(POOF) I am here.

_Sasuke-kun you come back!_

Hurry up already and pay for that DVD so that we could buy the dobe's stupid ramen, the sooner we get the ramen the sooner we can eat tomatoes.

_YAY! Sasuke-kun I love you so much!_

Hn.

_Let's hold hands Sasuke-kun!_

Aa.

_Sasuke-kun do you love me?_

Isn't it obvious already?_  
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(Up in some random tree)

**_We were fooled._**

**Sasuke-teme has a huge stick up his ass that he needs to hide from us to express his feelings for Sakura-chan! WHAT A BASTARD!**

Naruto. He's shy, let him be. Oh that's right! I remembered last week ago someone peed his pants when a certain Hinata Hyuuga embrace him from behind…

**_Naruto peed in his pants? Ew._**

**THAT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT! I WAS NERVOUS!  
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